Arranged marriage system in India is bad in one sense but good in another sense. It is bad when marriage is arranged with such a hatred and prejudice over other religions, castes and races; it is bad when parents over-protect and control their children to the extent of denying every wish, and even every right of their children in choosing their partners. Arranged marriages are wonderful when parents and children love each other sincerely, and total freedom is given to children for final consent to marriage; and, when arrangements are made for the would-be-spouses to meet and to know each other.
My name is Vinit Tailor and in this blog I am gonna tell you little something about the repulsive tradition of arrange marriage in modernize India. Mostly people in India basically follow the tradition of arrange marriage which originated when the child marriage was legal. This system only seems to protect the family and not the one who is getting married. Parents
find suitable spouses for their children from "appropriate" families so there is no "need" of marrying outside their own religion, caste, social status and ECONOMIC class. To me it seems like we are still living in Rama & Sita time. I guess this was better even then than now.
Child marriages are now abolished in India and kids are free to choose their own partner by LAW IF our parents let us choose the one we want to get married with. Racism in the blood still exist, specially in the blood of parents. In fact, I would say India is the one of the most racist country in the world. We in India still look at people differently depending on their caste, religion, economy class... Our parents are still very narrow minded and over protective about their kids.
Indian parents try to control their children by arranging marriages within the limits of race, caste, class and religion. IF children find their own partners many parents would consider it a black mark on the family name and it is shame for them. Arranged marriages are prevalent among the "high-caste" and "high class" people. These are the people who want to protect their status. People of low caste do not care about this much.
EVEN PROSTITUTES WHO INDIANS CONSIDER TO BE A DISGUSTING BIOLOGICAL INSECT DON'T CARE ABOUT RELIGION AND CASTE!
Love is the LAST thing in the mind of Indian parents. They would want to find a suitable economic class partner for their kids so they don't loose their property. This is a simple mentality for many parents, specially in North India where education level is relatively low comparing to other parts of India.
I Indian kids up to some extent that they follow their parents in making such important decision as marriage. I think all parents should first ask their kids if they love anyone. Because parents are gonna be dead tomorrow and it is the kid who is gonna have to make decisions.
In India families keep on repeating stuff that arrange marriages do not work. They are gonna bash some thing again and again on the mind of their kids. So, even when some kids are up on their feet, they will be scared to find a love. It is not that they can't but fearing the family they simply get scared.
Most arrange marriages do happen in disticnt family relation or friend circle of either parent. I think one main draw back of that idea is that, person does not know their future partner. Only the parents know and many parents force their kids in to such marriage. And that is where the point I stated above comes in. Parents are here now, they will be gone tommorow then it will be kids who will need to make choices and decisions.
In many arranged marriages, mentality of two partners do not match at all. There are clashes all the time. And you know what Indian parents say about this? "compromise is the one good part in Hinduism". That type of compromise if pure deception of India parents. I think only EVIL parents would go for arrange marriage.
In almost all arranged marriages, partners are MADE to stay together. It does not matter to Indian parents if their kids can't stand the face of his/her partner. Kids are told over and over to respect the ritual of society. So, partners compromise due to the fear of society.
My OWN experiences on this issues
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√ In India many people believe that by marriage a woman enters into a bondage, and in Indian situation this is pretty accurate--woman is not free. In arranged marriage, her
consent is not sought; her desires have no importance; and, even if she loves somebody to be her husband, family not only doesn't give any consideration to that but also
threatens her in many ways.
√ Mona's friend was in relationship with a guy for FOUR years. The matter was disclosed to her parents after 3 and half year of their affair. You know what her parents did? You
guessed it right, they denied the boy. Without knowing much about him, the guys was instantly not suitable for their daughter. No doubt guy started drinking after this. After
few months girl threatened her parents that she will either run away with the guy or do marriage in court. So the parents finally agreed and now she is married with the same
DRUNK YARD! Who do you blame in that case? I blame parents. If they looked the guy in first place he would not go in to such habit and the guy and girl both would be happily married now.
Adding a line on the compromise topic, who said that there are no compromise in arrange marriages? There is nothing like perfect wife or perfect husband but what Indian parents
do need to understand that in love marriage your ADULT CHILD knows the person who he/she is getting married with. Of course, you parents are never gonna give up your right on
approving or disapproving with or without legit reason, RIGHT?
